Life Goes On
I used to hear this phrase in response to basically every complaint that came out of my mouth. My mom’s humdrum cadence echoing back in the most predictable of ways, “You’'ll get over it, Michael. Life goes on.”
And she was always right. Life did go on. The next thing always happened. There was another road to drive down, whether I wanted to turn my blinker on or not. Another pitch was going to be thrown even if I was not ready to be in the box again. The sun would rise the next morning despite my wish for the night to never end.
Oddly enough, some of my favorite musical artists have written songs throughout the years to match Mom’s catchphrase. Tupac released “Life Goes On” in 1996 about losing the people closest to you, but how those loved ones want you to live your life despite them no longer being here (big Pac guy here). Fast forward 27 years, and Ed Sheeran’s new album contains a track titled “Life Goes On” about the heartbreaking experience of the person you love moving on from you. Both of these have resonated with me over time. I’ve lost loved ones, trying to live forward in the light of their memories and the nightmare of losing the one person I love more than anything is simply haunting.
The messages of the music, as it always is with lyrical geniuses, reign far too true.
Life did not wait for me. It never will. Whether I wanted to move along from whatever was holding me back, jump into the unknown, or stand still, waiting to see if the same old past results will change…it does go on.
There are unfortunately situations in life that are out of our control. Moments during which we so badly want to take the wheel and steer in the direction that most favors us. Living with a health condition, missing on the jobs I wanted, watching a relationship slip through the cracks, having to leave my dream job well before the time I anticipated, seeing friends take life’s next steps while watching with handcuffs tightly locked around my wrists have all held me down at some point. I sat quietly in the passenger seat for all of it, wishing so badly to just grab the wheel and drive myself.
Over time, I made different decisions, hoping it would make a difference. But life stayed pretty damn consistent. My choices never dictated whether or not life waited for me. And to be honest, sometimes that sucks. You feel the pressure to come to a conclusion that you are not ready to make. In your rearview mirror, life is chasing you down, honking its horn, and ready to pass you without a care in the world.
But I remember the short phrase that my tiny, but powerful mom boomed out loud hundreds of thousands of times when I started to feel badly for myself: “Life goes on, Michael Thomas.”
Letting yourself get stuck in the past won’t change anything. Life is not going to wait. It is already miles down the highway, cackling as it watches you with your flashers on, fading into the background. Keep up. Put your foot on the pedal. Understand that the loss can’t change to a win. Know that if the person treats you like an option, they will likely never choose you to be permanent. If you have a dream, get it now. The worst thing you can say is that you “have time” because you don’t. Realize that life is going to go on, and it is perfectly acceptable to pick up your ball, say “onto the next,” and be ok with it.
I know that accepting this can be hard. When we become so connected to an idea, a person, or a circumstance, our every thought tends to hinge on it. Our dreams lose boundaries relevant to reality. So when we do not get what we desire, the first thought is to stick around and see if we can change it. The truth is that staying in that exact spot will cause us to miss other opportunities, some new and others a repeat of the one we wanted to begin with. Either way, it starts with moving on.
Life simply will not wait for us if we don’t.
I am still learning how to let go. I am still trying to figure out how to drive side by side with life, never getting stuck behind, hoping on hope that I can gain control of those things that simply aren’t meant to be. There are so many times that it feels impossible. I have fallen short. I have been locked back in that cage of emotion. No one said it was going to be a comfortable, simple decision to move on, but I am learning. Even though life might be trying to pull ahead, it will often honk its horn to let us know that it’s speeding up, so pay attention. Don’t get lost in its dust. Hit the gas, catch up, and move onto the next part of the life you’re meant to live.
I am figuring it out, one step at a time. I hope you are able to as well. As my good friend, Ed Sheeran sings…
“Easy come. Hard go. But life goes on…”
