Today was Hard…
Today was hard. It sucked.
From the time I was a child, the last day of school was a special day. It was like the Academy Awards of school days. We had an end of year assembly during which we would receive our honors, attendance, and leadership awards in front of our families and friends. Then, our parents would take us out to the Perkins downtown for the meal that kicked off our summers.
As education faded from something I felt like I “had to do” and into the only thing I wanted to do, the feeling on the last day did not change an ounce. There was thrill. Pride cleared a space in my heart where I would store the little ones I worked with for the rest of time. The air felt different. Excitement ripped through the halls, following the voices of students, anticipating the glorious summer ahead. A tint of sadness clouded it all, but just enough to remind us that we had become a family. We had worked hard, overcome, grown far beyond our wildest dreams, and we deserved to celebrate.
When this year threw the proverbial wrench at me and stripped away the principal position that I held with vigorous pride, I was angry. There are expletives that would fit there, but this is a family show. Throughout my life, the heart condition that robbed me of this was constantly taking things from me. It was always getting in the way. And as it struck once again, I found myself back in the familiar place of feeling badly for myself. And when I wasn’t signing yearbooks today or getting one last chance to talk to my school family once more before they departed for summer, the unfavorable thoughts began to trickle into my brain once again.
The voices in our heads are the loudest that we hear. When they scream the negatives, we tend to run, looking for the closest hiding spot. I kept hearing that I was a failure who had let everyone down. So I ran. I bolted like I hadn’t done since I was a 17 year old outfielder trying to make the play of my life. The problem is that the further we sprint away…the louder the negativity becomes. Confronting the noise and questioning its validity was my way out.
The story I was telling myself was never true. Sure, I had to leave my dream behind, but it did not mean I needed to stop the impact. Once I stared fear in the face…it ran from me. I was no longer the failure it had convinced me that I was. Instead? I was on a new path to changing the lives of others.
At the end of it all, our hardest moments, the situations that try to crush us? They can actually become the foundation for the next great thing we want to build. So this is my challenge to you: When life decides it is bored and tosses a challenge, coupled with its evil laugh, DO NOT RUN. Walk right toward it and ask yourself if what you are hearing is true. My guess is you will quickly come to learn that it isn’t. There is a positive hiding somewhere in that negative. You just have to face it to find it.
So today was a hard day. It was the first time in 30 years that I did not have a last day of school. That was tough for me. Not seeing the joyous faces. Not getting the “see you next year” hugs on the way out the door. And a list of many more misses. We all have them. Today was one for me. But I will keep pushing on.
This is the next part of my journey, the next brick in my foundation to the greatness I hope to build. And I can’t wait to see you all do the same.
